It’s not so much the physical act of writing that is difficult, or the mental (well the mental is under strain right now), it’s the emotional, and that took me by surprise. Why did I have to write such a bleedin’ dark book?
I’ve even considered adding some light comedy, but it feels wrong for the book. Would a bit of light relief make it untrue and cheapen the topics being fought over? Something to worry about at the editing stage me thinks. I never thought I’d be writing a book like this. It’s terrifying.
Having to go through all the motions of my MC is exhausting. Depressing. And down right insane. I’ve been living this character and her heart-break constantly for two and half weeks.
I get up from my computer just so I can have a break. Then bang my head for about half an hour and shout ‘don’t make me go back. You can’t make me.’ Because in order to make it true, I have to put on her shoes. I have to get in her head. Method writing. I’m also finding that my emails and writings are beginning to slip into her voice. (I’m being very careful NOT to do write like her in this post).
There is one plus-side to the past week. I discovered Ellie Goulding. She is now the soundtrack for this novel. Thank you Spotify and a distracting trip to B&Q. I was being very productive in my resistance to write and bought, trimmed, painted and hung a door. What else can I do before the end of the month? Solve world hunger? A writer can do anything when trying to avoid writing.
Right now, I really ought to be writing and typing. Am many words behind! *hits head on desk*