Writing prompt – write your own modest proposal

Want a fun writing prompt? Find out what inspired this piece of satire on my substack.

A flat-pack proposal

The cost of living has arisen so dramatically, that people in Britain are no longer able to afford to buy a house to live in. But yet, their Amazon Prime accounts bring in a phenomenal amount of cardboard that is so ‘green-friendly’ and robust that they could fashion their own house by themselves. In fact, Ikea has just announced their first flat-house pack that they aim to hand out to first-time land-buyers to enable them to create their own luxurious abode for next to nothing. There are only minor inconveniences – such as, no electric can be wired into the building, or plumbing. But with today’s #vanlife culture, who are embracing living less comfortably, this seems hardly an issue. Most just want a place to call ‘home’ and to have a place to put their head down each night. 

Each household throws out 13,000 pieces of cardboard each year, but with the right tools – these households could actually have their own house! Cardboard (especially recycled), is a great resource and incredibly sturdy. Much like houses made from straw and mud, if equipped with glue-guns and a decent frame, the cardboard can be treated to resist mildew and fire. Although one cannot hang picture frames on the inside, the artwork can be painted directly onto the walls themselves.

To ensure the building lasts through the seasons, one would only need to erect a large tent over the house, whenever a rain cloud came along. And weather prediction is so much better these days, that a simple push of a button on an app could ensure that your house never turns into a soggy biscuit.

Published by FJ Morris

Author & Director of Oxford Flash Fiction Prize. West Country bumpkin who can't kill anything but characters. Loves to grow big stories and big plants. Always looking for omens and four leaf clovers.

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